Ken Regalia '69

I was absolutely shocked when Bob Martin called me about the news of Phil.  What a great guy.  Miss his infectious smile and laugh.   Condolences to BJ and the familyt.   R-I-P.   

Hats off to the Class of 68 classmates that continue to get together ususally once a year for BBQ, Golf and stories.  The group  Includes Phil, Jim Clifford, Rod Powell, Mark Buckley, Bill Salame, and those mentioned by Trudy and Steve Castellucci.   Be well everyone!

Dave Ganapoler

Phil was in a couple of my classes. While we weren’t close, he ran with Steve Castellucci, Bob Martin and Bill Salame, I always appreciated his easy going approach to life and always offered a gracious smile. He was one of the good guys. RIP Phil. My condolences to his family. 

Donna Bosch (Carlone)

So very sorry to hear about Phil.   He was such a nice guy.   I sat next to him at our Terra Linda graduation.  He was a lot of fun.   My condolences to his family.  I remember him well.  

Stephen Reese

Phil and I lived about a block apart. He always 

greeted me with a smile and good conversation.

No contact since TLHS.

RIP

Mark Buckley

April 2024                                                                My Best Friends

Growing up in Terra Linda in the 1950’s and 60’s, I had several best friends. I have had dreams about returning to visit these friends in the neighborhood where we grew up.

Tom McCart lived five houses down the street from me on Holly Drive. At five years old, I learned to ride bikes with Tom. Once we got up on two wheels, we were free to roam our suburban neighborhood.

Tom and his sister, Martha, had been adopted. Twice every week Mrs. McCart baked delicious homemade bread and chocolate chip cookies, which she served us with milk after school. Tom and I camped out one night in their backyard. We made s’mores and Tom’s dad set up a tent for us with sleeping bags, mats and pillows. Beaver Cleaver never had it so good.

In kindergarten I met Phil Zito. One day we had a fight and were sent to the principal’s office. As we sat in the office, waiting for the principal to arrive and bring judgment upon us, we prayed for an earthquake to destroy the school buildings. We felt dying in an earthquake would be a better fate than what the principal would dispense.

I don’t remember what the principal said to us when he finally arrived, but that was my last school fight until junior high. Phil and I became friends as we got older and we spent summers swimming in his pool and hunting in the hills surrounding Terra Linda.

Phil moved to Oklahoma for a few years and Peter de Jung became my best friend. Peter and I played football in the street on Holly Drive with his dad and brother, Steve. Peter’s dad took us on weekend trips to their cabin in the mountains near Boonville. We learned to catch trout on spinners in their stream which Mr. de Jung cooked with bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast feasts.

A few years later, the Zito family moved back from Oklahoma and bought a house near us on Holly Drive. Phil’s parents taught me to play hearts. His dad took me bowling and hunting for pheasant and ducks. I ate many meals at their house, which became like a second home for me.

We all attended Vallecito Junior High, a half mile walk from Holly Drive. Our principal was over six feet tall. He walked the corridors with a scowl, looking for trouble-makers while slapping a paddle against his thigh. The guys who were sent to him for discipline had to bend over when he applied it to their backsides. California public schools have changed a lot over the years.

One summer day, Phil and I went fishing in San Pablo Bay. We had been dropped off at China Camp where we rented a little row boat. We rowed out into the bay where we caught striped bass and flounder. As the day wore on, the gentle waves lulled us both to sleep. I felt a strong tug on my pole and woke up suddenly, thinking I had a big fish. It wasn’t a big fish, but a huge wave that had hit the boat and bent my rod. The boat was rocking in white capped waves. I yelled to wake up Phil. We tried to row, but the wind and waves pushed us further into the bay. A large yacht was heading to shore and turned around when the captain saw us flailing our arms in distress. He threw us a line and towed us to shore.

Phil loved to hunt ducks. He could call in flying ducks in by making loud quacking sounds. One day when we were at Indian Valley Golf Club he spotted two mallards flying in the distance. He began making loud quacks and the ducks started flying towards us. As they circled lower above us he said, “Get down Buck, I’ll hit um with my golf club.”

In high school, Bill Saleme and I often played pool after football and baseball practice. Afterwards, his mom made us big Italian dinners while his dad played chess and talked philosophy with me. When we went out on double dates, Bill’s grandmother, who was 4’ll” and in her 80’s, would say, “Now Billy, whatever you do, remember, do not let those girls get you to say ‘I do!’”

As we got older, some of our experiences turned darker. My friends introduced me to drinking, the Mustang Ranch, and concerts at the Filmore. I introduced them to marijuana. My life descended into a demonic trap as I indulged in the psychedelics and seductions which fueled the Hippie movement.

After I gave my life to Jesus in 1970, I shared the gospel with my friends. Peter de Jung listened politely. His dad, who had been such a blessing to me had committed suicide by then. Peter had miraculously survived when a great white shark bit his surfboard and tore open his leg in a horrific Pacific Ocean attack.

Phil Zito and Bill Saleme prayed with me to accept Jesus. The seed of the gospel laid dormant in their hearts for a time. Years later, Phil told me he fought depression until he then returned to the Catholic Church and started delivering food to people in need. He always encouraged our prayer times at meals when we got together with our friends for yearly golf and poker outings.

The seed of faith sprouted in Bill Saleme’s life years ago. Today Bill and his wife Lucie travel the country reaching out to people in need and sharing their faith in Christ wherever they go.

Last month Phil died from a sudden heart attack. It shocked his family and all of us who loved him. I will always remember his kindness and cherish his friendship.

After Phil’s death, I had a vivid dream in which I saw Tom McCart in the presence of the Lord. I called out to him in my dream because I was excited to see him alive with Christ, and I could sense Phil was with him. Tom had died in 2013.

I woke up encouraged. None of us are saved because we have lived such a good life. We are saved by receiving the grace of God through Jesus Christ.

What is the point of picking up our cross and doing good to others in this fallen world? Following Jesus allows us to have a fruitful life. We are not only saved by grace, but grace can empower us to be a blessing to others. Abiding in Christ is a challenge, but the reward is revelation of who God is and the privilege of a partnership with the One who gives eternal life to all who believe in Him.

I’m thankful for my friends, and also their families. They welcomed me into their homes with meals and love. My dad worked hard seven days a week to provide for our family. My friends’ parents enriched my life with adventures and gave me a bigger vision of what a family can become.

I have many friends who are in heaven now, as are their parents. The village that raised me has passed away. However, there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. He is the one I’ll continue to serve. There are more adventures and opportunities to come before we are united in heaven with those we love..

(If you would like to respond to me personally, you can contact me at Mark@markbuckleyministries.com)

Blair Wardlaw (Hunt)

Hey Mark.   Love hearing about your growing up years on Holly Drive and all your friends I knew so well in grade school like Bill Saleme and in high school, Tom McCart. Getting older certainly holds its challenges and one of them is losing our friends like Phil and Tom. Thank you for your funny, kind and thoughtful story and words. 

Sandra Sutton (Maisel)

Hi Mark,  I enjoyed reading about your childhood adventures with our other classmates!  I was so sorry to hear that Phil Zito passed away!  I remember he caught the garter at my wedding in 1969.  I always wondered if he kept it?  Phil was a great guy.  May he RIP.

It's so sad that so many of our classmates have already passed away!

Susannah Griffin (Perri)

I was so sad to hear of Phil's passing. I remember having a bit of a crush on him in junior high, (which he didn't seem to notice), and that he always smiled and had kind things to say to me when we would cross paths in high school. Mark, that was a lovely tribute to Phil and all of your childhood friends. What wonderful memories! Yes Blair, maybe the biggest challenge of all about this stage of life is losing the people who have always been there. Rest in peace, Phil, you will be missed by many.